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RIP Test Icicles
If the glove don’t fit, you must a-quit: Rock ‘n’ roll has its evil way with Test Icicles
a reflection by Ashley Graham

You know how when you hear celebrities bitching about how many interviews they have to do, or how many photos are being taken of them, you think “Hey Clown! You’re the famous one, you gotta roll with the punches that come with the territory!” Most continue their bitchin’, but Test Icicles has wormed their way even further into my rockin’ heart by calling it quits after just a couple of years, saying that they simply aren’t being made happy by the band’s current track. Praise in the indie circles didn’t do the trick, nor did being lauded by NME as the next thing. Test Icicles were in about the best position a young band can be in—and they hated it. Instead of complaining in every article and interview, though, they’ve done the noble, dare it be said LOGICAL, thing and decided to call it quits. Hooray for not being afraid to step out of the spotlight for a chance at self-fulfillment.

So, with that, I regret to inform that The Wig’s preview of Test Icicles’ upcoming show at Neumo’s on March 6 is a no-go, as is the entire US tour. Be sure to get those refunds…

The official word, for those in disbelief:

OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM TEST ICICLES MANAGEMENT:


"As of Tuesday, February 21 Test Icicles have split.  The band have just come off a European tour and are exhausted from the constant pressures of touring, subsequently they have cancelled their show at the NME Awards show this Friday and US tour.   The band will play their final dates on their UK tour in April.'

OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM TEST ICICLES MEMBER RORY ATWELL:

Hmm, well, I not really sure how to explain this, but I gather from the comments that have been left on our myspace page over the last twenty-four hours that you all know that our 'group', band', 'project' or whateveryawannacallit is going to split up.

I've just spent the last hour writing a dissertation about what our band is/was/intended-to-be and have twisted my brain inside out trying to explain the chaos, dilemmas and confusion that has engulfed this band in the past 18 months, I'm not even sure I understand what has happened to us let alone trying to explain it to someone else.

We started this band in August 2004, our only intention was to have bit of fun, to play a few shows, cause some trouble and to split up shortly afterwards, the fact of the matter is that we played our 5millionth gig the other day after a year of multiple tours and we're sick, tired and miserable, and to put it simply, it just isn't fun anymore and hasn't been for a very long time, so we've decided it's time to find something that does make us happy because unfortunately this isn't it.

The original plan was to play a UK tour, European Tour and American Tour all in succession, finishing up with our final 5 shows around the UK in April.
I think we always suspected that at some point during this three month period of constant touring that something would go wrong and unfortunately that time came after the final show of our European tour in St. Malo last week, I'm not say who it was who snapped or in what circumstance but it had been a long time coming and I was almost relieved when it actually happened.

I'm really sorry to anyone who was looking forward to seeing us playing at that NME show or catching us on tour in the US, I hope that anyone who bought a ticket manages to get their money back without too much hassle. I would've loved to have toured the US, but in our current state of disrepair it was never going to happen and if we did try and make it happen it probably would have led to something much worse happening and the three of us disappearing somewhere near Utah never to be seen again, or something like that, so unfortunately the US tour wasn't to be. We will however play our final shows in April, that'll give us some time to sort our heads out and hopefully we can all have a week long 'fuck the Test Icicles' party together ? should be a good way to kill us off I think, bring your shovels and we'll bury Test Icicles once and for all.

Ok, well, I don't really know what else to say other than thanks to anyone who invested their time, money and effort into this band, i.e. the people who bought our records and came to see us play, I know it probably doesn't always seem like it, but we do appreciate it.
With a bit of luck the next projects that we undertake, whether they be comic books, Nobel prize winning scientific discoveries or, who knows, maybe just maybe another band, will be better than Test Icicles and you'll look back and be glad we split up ?

For the time being I'm going to grow a beard, move to the forest and work on my hillbilly-psych-out-jams and we'll see you in April, clean shaven and ready to fuck some shit up for the last time as Test Icicles!!!!

Take care of your badass-mudda-fuggin-selves, Luurve,

Raaaaaary Decihells/Aggwelt/Atwell

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